“I don’t have time” is a bulls**t excuse

“How are you?” her friend asked as they sat in their favourite coffee shop for their weekly debrief on life, work, husbands, the state of the world.

“Busy” came the standard reply. “Me too. Work has been insane, Mark’s away so I’ve got the kids on my own, Mum’s been unwell so I had to take her to the doctor . . . . .” The list went on.

“Oh, I know”, her friend leapt on a pause for breath, “we’ve got a big presentation coming up for a new client and John’s driving me mad with his constant requests. Talk about the client from hell. Does he think he is my only client, for God’s sake?”

Jane smiled to herself at the next table. She wondered when being “busy” had become a badge of honour; when it had changed so that unless you’re running doing a million things at once, when you’re not seen to be a high performer or someone who’s worth being friends with. You’re seen as someone who can’t possibly be happy because you haven’t rattled off a list of things you’re busy with. Or maybe it’ that we use it as an excuse, she pondered. “How can I have time to be happy, I am too busy . . . .” As she sipped her chai, she tuned her ears back into the conversation at the next table.

“I used to love Fridays with the weekend looming large, but now the weekends are even busier. Jess has to go to netball, James has a sleepover. It’s Mark’s mother’s birthday so we have to do the family thing. Shit. I have to get her a present too. She’s always judging me because I don’t have time to get her a present.” “Why doesn’t Mark get it, it’s his mother?” her friend ventured. “Oh apparently he’s too busy. Like, I’m not,” she scoffed. “He should try working at my job, raising the kids . . . .”

I don't believe in the "I don't have time excuse". We all have the same number of hours in the day; if we don't have time for something, it means we chose not to make it a priority to do it. That's fine but own the decision instead of trying to justify it away with the old "I don't have time" excuse. I challenge you next time you catch yourself using it to really question why. If it's something that's not important, take it off the To Do list and free your mind from it. If it is important, question why you didn't make it a priority today.

As the Zen saying goes, "You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you're too busy; then you should sit for an hour."

So take some time out for yourself today, and don’t feel guilty about it. Own the decision and enjoy it.