We did an anonymous “brain dump” – “What effects is the
stress having on you both emotionally and physically?” Everyone had a heart
shaped sticky note (it was Valentine’s Day after all!) to fill and we stuck
them all on the door. As we stood around reading them all, I could hear the murmurs
of “me too”, “yes definitely” accompanied head nods as they realised that their
classmates were all feeling the exact same things. We talked about the physical
effects of stress (yes we talked about tummy upsets, nausea, sore shoulders and
backs, feeling tired, lack of appetite) and the emotional ones (easily
irritated, fast to anger and yes some of the boys admitted to feeling teary
sometimes). We discussed some people preferring to be alone when they are
stressed and others craving company. This new awareness enabled a conversation
about being respectful of others’ preferences – if you are one who prefers to
be around others when you’re stressed, note which classmates share this
approach and spend time with them. If someone likes to be alone when they are
stressed, leave them alone and don’t take it personally. One of the boys said
to me, “Thanks, Bec. I was worried something was wrong with me because I keep
getting sick and feeling like vomiting all the time. Now I know it is just the
stress, I won’t worry anymore and now I can use that energy for my exams!”
Having worked through what’s normal stress symptoms, I
gave them the good news. There are 2 types of stress – distress which, as it
sounds, is a negative type of stress; and eustress which is a more positive
type of stress. The difference hinges on HOPE and comes down to how we frame
the event. If we see the SLC as exams designed to make us fail and that if we
don’t get good results our lives will be ruined, this will cause distress and
hopelessness. However, if it is reframed to be seen as an opportunity to showcase
our hard work and to give us the necessary piece of paper to enable us to go on
to achieve our dream futures, then our body and mind react to the hope and
respond accordingly, motivating us to study hard and clearing our minds to
focus on achieving the best we can do in the exams. We practised reframing our
responses to the question they get asked multiple times a day “How are you
feeling about your exams?” and responding with an answer reflecting either
distress or eustress. One of the girls remarked on the immediate difference in
body language between the 2 responses. It was true – a distress response saw
the student acting the role with his shoulders dropped, head down, wringing his
hands. The same student’s response when he responded with an answer containing
hope and opportunity (a eustress response) saw his shoulders thrown back, his
head up, hands wide open and a significant confidence in his voice which had
been missing before.
By the end of the session, the students had developed a
new sense of connection with their classmates, an increased awareness of the
fact that they are all facing the same challenge and experiencing the same
symptoms of stress, that what they are feeling is normal. They had a new
language to discuss with each other how they are coping and they had a reframed
view of their exams as an opportunity, full of hope for their futures,
leapfrogging the stress of the exams and giving them a glimpse of the hope
waiting for them.
The same strategies apply to you. The reality is that
we cannot escape the stress in our lives. But we can reframe it to give it
hope, to place it in the camp of eustress rather than distress, to be kind to
ourselves during the process. And be aware of the effects, both physical and
emotional, that stress is having on you. You owe it to yourself to address
these. The long term consequences of prolonged stress are huge. There are ways
to reduce the impact and face stress with a renewed strength.
We ended the session with a great laughter yoga
session. Yes, stress can be contagious. But the best news is that laughter is
even more contagious! Thanks, class 10, it is always a pleasure learning with
you!
With gratitude always
Bec